It's been 33 years since I couldn't go anywhere w/o a baby/child attached to me. Now I am back in that position and things seem different. While our daughter was born into a community who celebrated her presence, today's American culture apprears to really dislike having babies/children around. It's as if people think I have lots of options and bring Paisley Grace out with me only to annoy the adults around me. Paisley Grace goes out with me because that is the only option available at the time. This is the case for most parents, and especially single parents, who are simply living the family life style.
For example, I have had the same hair dresser since I moved to town. I pay handsomely for her services and hair products, and tip her generously. I was stunned last week when she related that some women at the shop do not want baies/children around bec. women consider the appt. "their" time and don't want to hear crying babies! Seriously? "THEIR" time? If that's the case, I think the client needs to book "at-home" appts.
Don't get me wrong - I know everyone does not love babies/children. I don't especially enjoy crying babies - even my grandchild. But that is what babies do. I also don't enjoy misbehaving children. Most parents don't enjoy it when their baby cries or their children misbehave. But listen up out there: It's a learning process, little ones don't come in boxes with "on/off" or "good day/bad day" switches.
Concerning the beauty shop - some of the customers ARE children & sometimes they are having a bad day. At times I have been at the beauty shop and some of the adults have been pretty obnoxious!
That was certainly the case a week ago at the football game. Paisley Grace was perfectly behaved, but the adults were rude and obnoxious - so much so that security was called.
Churches have a slightly different view - but most still insist that babies/children be separated from the rest of the church community. Some churches will not allow children in the sanctuary because the service is being videotaped. Others build "million dollar" nursery facilities to ensure babies aren't present in church. (Both these churches exist - I have personal knowledge of both.) I'm trying to picture the "Sermon on the Mount". Did Jesus or the disciples ask the people with babies/children to get up and leave, or to go to the back of the crowd? Maybe parents were asked to leave the children at home with relatives or to leave them in the tent designated for babies/children before they sat down to hear Jesus speak.
America has entire retirement communities where children are not allowed to live. Most of these communities require special permission for residents' own grandchildren to visit. (Children best be out by sundown . . . or else! Hmm . . sounds like some other discrimination I've read about in history books.)
Babies and children are not property or robots, they are part of the community. Hillary Clinton said that it takes a village to raise a child. My point is that most of the village doesn't want to have the babies/children around.
I wonder if there is a connection between youth delinquency and violence and the disenfranchising of the youngest members of American society? Or is there a connection between our culture's acception of abortion as a way to deal with unwanted children affecting our society's response to children in general? Food for thought anyway.
I know that children are not always pleasant and that parents are not always perfect. Neither are adults. But this attitude, this perception of children as a public nuisance that truly shouldn’t be seen NOR heard? It just hurts my heart. How have we come to this?
I will continue to take Paisley Grace out in the community. Sometimes she will be darling and sometimes she will be wailing for some reason that I will try to fix. I hope the people we encounter will be kind and supportive. The people who are judgemental and who dislike the fact of her presence will just have to deal.
And remember, DONT BLINK OR PAISLEY GRACE WILL BE GROWN!
1 comment:
Pat - I agree with you! I am blessed with a well-behaved child who rarely has meltdowns and is pretty mild mannered. HOWEVER, he is two and a half....meltdowns, no's, crying, etc. come with the territory! It happens....to everyone!! And I get dirty looks, too. I have also gotten a TON of dirty looks when bringing Evan on a plane. Living so far from our families, we have flown to many a place with our son. It never fails that I get evil looks when I board the plane with my baby, like HOW DARE YOU! and he hasn't even made a peep yet. Yes, I will be the first to admit, it is annoying to hear a baby scream the entire flight, it is frustrating when a 4 year old kicks my seat the entire flight....but I also no that it is not easy to be the parent of the screaming, kicking child. And 98% of the time, those parents are doing everything they can think of to quiet their baby or stop their toddler from being disruptive. It's a part of life. I wish more people would be understanding and helpful, rather than rude and judgmental. If anything, being a parent has taught me to remember that unless I see someone physically harming their child, I have to believe that they are doing the best THEY KNOW HOW....and even if it is not the way I would do it, they are trying. What works for one family doesn't always work for the other. People need to remember patience, understanding and remember that at the end of the day, a child is the ultimate blessing!
Post a Comment